Colours

Many young career women these days seem to think that if they wear the "conservative" suit or outfit (mainly black) that they look the part - that their professionalism is displayed through the colour they wear. Unfortunately many look dull and drab and won't budge from the colour black.

Many of us have fallen into a similar trap, and find that the majority of our clothes portray the person we want to be seen as, rather than the person we are.

I was talking to a group of hospital workers the other day - the kitchen, cafeteria and cleaning staff. Their uniform is black with a patch of white over each shoulder. Looks smart. But everyone can quite easily look the same.

So the girls who do the "housekeeping" - the cleaning - in the hospital wards decided to do something about making the uniform more "user-friendly". Just a simple touch of colour, but where to effectively place the colour without infringing the rules of the hospital about not adding anything to the uniform itself?

They bought a quantity of shoe laces (most of the staff wear black lace-up shoes for comfort as well as being part of the uniform), and a supply of white cotton ankle sox. They then purchased some bright, vivid, vibrant, outlandish colours and dyed the shoe laces and sox.

Now, each of them wear their coloured pieces in a different way - one wore a bright orchid pink sock and a deep purple sock, and tied her shoes with bright orange laces. Another wore a deep emerald green sock with a bright red sock and grey shoe laces.

Each had fun every day of the week by wearing the colour that matched their mood or feelings.

It just goes to show that even wearing a drab uninteresting uniform that colour can be added in the most amazing way.

We can do the same. While Spring is almost with us here in Australia, and we still have the dark evenings quite early, it's time to "break out" and blossom into the person we are, rather than hide behind what we think is a perfect uniform, but which can blend us so much into the background that we become invisible. And let's face it, no one wants to be invisible.

Learning to like yourself!

Is it difficult? Is it difficult for you?

Some people find it quite easy to like themselves. It might be that they've been brought up in an environment where they've always "felt" wanted and loved by family. That same feeling may then have continued during the years of growing up and going to school and then into their work-life. Their adulthood is filled with "knowing who they are" and they are quite content and if you ask them they'll say they "like themselves".

A lot of people though, for one reason or another, and it may not even have to do with the environment in which they were brought up, start having doubts about themselves. They doubt their skills, their ability to do even simple tasks. They question their purpose in life, and for many when they look in the mirror, they "see" failure. Not that they've failed at schooling or even within their work ethics, but too easily they can equate their "looks" with being a failure.

No amount of being told they're worthwhile; that they are as good as the next person, and that they've got everything going for them, will convince them that they're OK just as they are, and that they deserve the right to "like" themselves.

Some degree of belittling; putting down, being trodden on and walked over, has taken it's toll in the feelings of worth as far as "self" is concerned. It may have been something someone said or did at one time or another, or maybe even repeated episodes of being treated in this way. For, if we are told we are useless and hopeless and even stupid enough times by enough people (and even by one person), we will begin to believe it. We will lose sight of our goals and ambitions and dreams and we will become putty in their hands, never believing we have the power and strength to think and do for ourselves.

Most of us are vulnerable at some time or another. Most of us feel let down and worthless if we are treated in such a way as mentioned above. And it takes a long time to discover that those negative opinions of others are wrong. The intolerance and unacceptable behaviour by others should never be taken on as our fault or blame. They are responsible for their actions and behaviour and should be made aware of the fact. Too many people never discover their birth-right of being accepted as a human being with all its trappings or enhancements, and they go through life feeling dejected and unwanted. And this shouldn't be.

The first step of learning to like yourself is simple but means a huge step forward. It takes courage and it takes determination and it takes a lot of guts and stubbornness at times. Even if some family and friends show acceptance towards and about us, yet we have the slightest doubts that have been set in place because of incidents in the past, then it takes a lot of effort on our part to believe in ourselves.

For one thing is certain. We must believe in ourselves. We have to believe in ourselves. We have to "see" ourselves as we see our loved ones. Unique individuals, unlike anyone else. After all, we are our own best asset! And we have to nurture that knowledge.

One small thing most of us in this group have learned is this. Learning to like ourselves for who and what we are, right now, is the way to opening new doors of opportunity and new ways of expressing and sharing ourselves with others. Our own lives become more fascinating and challenging.

It's OK to like yourself

One of the biggest myths around
is that having a good opinion of yourself
means you're stuck up or big-headed

In reality, the opposite is true.

When you like yourself, you project a warm glow to the world
that says, "I think I'm OK".

Most people will respond positively to this.

Those who don't are most likely feeling insecure about themselves.

These little words of wisdom come from The Mini Motivator,© 1997, Paul Hanna

Never forget!

You are your own best asset!

Personal Development

A friend of ours - Tonya V, attends regular Personal Development seminars as part of her job.

She writes: "It was only after I read some of the letters in your regular newsletters and blogs that I started to look at people and how they act they they're in the presence of other people, not necessarily those who they already know. Especially as it relates to discriminatory behaviour.

Yesterday we had a seminar at one of the leading hotels in the city. People from all states were there, as well as some very well-known people from the entertainment and film industry. Morning tea arrived and I joined the queue for some coffee and a biscuit. I poured my coffee and took one biscuit and stood back from the crowd. A couple of women came up and we started chatting.

My supervisor joined the group, and stared at my biscuit which I was nibbling. her comment, "surely you don't need to stuff yourself with biscuits all day". I was shattered. I know she has a caustic tongue but in front of strangers, I was embarrassed. I stopped talking and looked away as I felt very close to tears - not that I'm thin skinned but when this sort of thing happens out of the blue, you tend to be unprepared for it.

One of the ladies in the group (a comedienne who lives here in Melbourne) took in the situation and merrily munching one of her biscuits (she had taken a couple), she laughed and said to my supervisor, "I'm so glad I don't work for you -- you'd really tear me to pieces. Look, I've got two biscuits. Oh, dear ....... and what's that, dear?", she asked my supervisor, before adding: "Oh, you've got three biscuits on your plate. Oh well, that explains everything". She walked away still chuckling.

My supervisor had the grace to blush. She took me to one side and said, "sorry". I'd never known her to be lost for words, but for once she had overstepped the mark. What did it matter whether i had a biscuit or not, or whether I had one biscuit or two? It was none of her business - she doesn't own me! But I was sure glad it was someone else who had taken her to task. I'll treat her a little differently from now on. I'm not telling her yet, but I'll be looking around for another position over the next three to size months and I'm taking a whole lot of notes of what it really means to have "personal development". I might even become a convener myself!"

(www.plussizeissue@blogspot.com and www.agingoutrageously@blogspot.com)

(Photo copyright Univ New South Wales, Australia)

Life is a journey, not a single destination

We are all searching for happiness.

It's OK to feel "lost" sometimes,
as it is in these lost times
that we go inside ourselves and find more of our hidden potential.

The next time you feel life is going nowhere,
take some quiet time to listen to the awesome power inside you.

It's there, just wanting to come out.

© Paul Hanna, The mini Motivator

Don't Underestimate Yourself

Instead of looking for that "wonder job"
or "once-in-a-lifetime opportunity",
start to go inside and learn to like yourself.

The world is your mirror and it's reflecting how you feel.
Lift your opinion of yourself and bingo - the world mirrors this.

....... © Paul Hanna, The Mini Motivator