The "uniform" of today

I was waiting for Carol to arrive at the local coffee shop. With large floor to ceiling windows looking out into the mall, I watched as people went about shopping, stopping to chat and so on. It suddenly occurred to me that women particularly have taken up a “uniform” in clothing.

Apart from jeans and tee shirts, the majority of women are wearing hip length shirts - sometimes as a jacket over the ubiquitous tee shirt, with black pants. The more I looked, the more I saw the same.

I can remember as a young Mum with a teenage daughter that she and her friends were saying they didn’t want to wear a school uniform. “It wasn’t cool to look the same as everyone else”. It wasn’t fair that the school “made” them do so - they wanted to wear the clothes they chose. They got their own way.

She’s grown up now and has teenagers of her own. But something strange has happened. No longer does she wear "choices". I notice that she is now wearing this “middle-aged” uniform of a black tee shirt and black pants. Not only around the house but when she goes out, even to the cinema or theatre, having a BBQ or visiting neighbours. Always the same sort of outfit. Her entire wardrobe is made up of black tee shirts and black pants. I mentioned this “uniform look” to her the other day and she said, “Surely Mum, you can understand they’re more comfortable”. More comfortable than what? And just what does being comfortable have to do with wearing clothes that you like, maybe even better than tee shirts and black pants.

If women were only given the choice of wearing black or white tee shirts and black pants, they'd be screaming "we want choice".

Look, I’m not saying for one minute that black tee shirt and black pants aren't comfortable and practical, but let’s get a bigger perspective on “fashion”. For what appears to have happened is that the choices gained made all those years ago have now been put to one side and a new "uniform" has taken over. You can see it in women of all ages - young (even tweens), adult and elderly women.

Can’t we see the adventure in playing with colour and texture and design and style and fabric? Have a look around at the women in your shopping mall or coffee shop next time you go and see if you don’t agree with me.

Now we've got another gene to blame!

Did you see the article in a recent newspaper that says if we have the ability to keep "cool, calm and collected" when others around us are having tantrums, temper blasts and "losing their heads", then we can thank our parents?

It seems studies in Germany at the University of Bonn asked more than 800 people on how they handled anger. Their DNA's were tested to determine which of three versions of a gene affecting depression levels they carried.

Those with one version were significantly "cooler" than those with the others. Angry types also had less grey matter in the brain's emotional centre. (Behavioural Brain Research)

While talking about "grey" matter - oh, how Agatha Christie loved this subject - it seems from studies here in Australia that teenagers who are binge drinking are opening themselves to all sorts of brain malfunctions, now and in the future, in that their levels of "white" matter are decreasing rapidly.

This brought about a question amongst our group this morning - just how many different coloured "matters" do we actually have in our brain?

Would that account for some people having black and white dreams while others always have technicolour?

Hmmmmm.

Leonie Stevens .... You'll never guess!

I was invited to attend a small business meeting of a group of business women the other week. Living and working as a corporate woman my daily "uniform" for want of a better word has been, for a number of years (in fact more years than I care to admit), a smart business jacket and slacks (more commonly known as "pants" these days). For many business women it appears to be the "expected" standard style of dress.

But I woke up this morning, wanting to do something different. Sometimes I feel a little mischievous! So I wore a lovely slightly flared ankle length skirt with a smart edge to edge jacket over a cami. For comfort I wore my favourite boots.

Let me tell you I felt great. The reflection in the mirror also confirmed that feeling. Compliments were expressed, even by my colleague in the government, and it takes a lot for her to find something good to commend.

That got me thinking. As a matter of course, we tend to sometimes allow ourselves to become, well - not really boring, but lacking in a bit of imagination.

Do you know because I looked good in the mirror (even side and back view!!), I "felt" good. And that feeling has lasted all day.

I intend to do this sort of thing more often. To step out of the "comfort zone" as far as corporate wear is concerned, and wear slightly more feminine clothing, especially when the occasion allows.

© 2009 Leonie Stevens, Australia

Leonie Stevens ..... on Daydreaming .....

I'm at long last finding time to spend to myself and I'm being surprised every day with the knowledge there are times when I like solitude.

Let me hasten to say though, that in no way do I enjoy being "lonely" and sometimes it happens - but I mean choosing to be "alone" is quite nice when you want it to be.

For those of you who know me a little through my columns in various women's newsletters, you'll already know my career curve has taken another one - curve I mean! I'm loving the freedom that this choice is giving me in doing the things that I want to do, when I want to do them, and with whom I want to do them. And I'm saying nothing further in that regard - well, not at the moment anyway.

This morning has been one of those bleak cold and grey mornings, and while sitting down with a good book and a cup of coffee - with cream! - I found I was suddenly transported away on imaginings and my thoughts were falling all over each other in their scramble to form a sensible pattern. I realise I was daydreaming, and when I thought more seriously about it, I realised I hadn't had time to daydream for years, being heavily committed to business activities and travelling and then having to run the home as well before my CDC - "career direction change".

I remembered as a child - especially in the classroom, when I would dabble in daydreaming - of course neither the teacher nor my parents found it a bit amusing, and told me I was wasting valuable time and expense in doing so.

But you know, I found in my early and mid-adulthood, that being able to daydream occasionally rounded off some of the harsh edges that life created for me. And I guess it's the same for many people. Being able to put day-dreams into action plays a big part in our abilities to take of new challenges, to set new goals and to undertake new adventures.

I don't know about you, but I find daydreams very valuable stuff - without them I think life would be sadly lacking in some of the romance and fantasy areas that we all need at some time during our lives.

That's not to say we should spend the whole day daydreaming, but occasionally it can do us good. As a matter of fact just like chocolates - I've read so many times over the past decade or so just how VERY good chocolates can be for us, if eaten sensibly and moderately.

That's great because I've decided to take advantage of daydreaming when I want to, and enjoying chocolates when I want to. Perhaps I can combine the two together

Because I reckon I'll be all the happier - knowing that there's no suggestion of "having to go without" because neither are good for me. Because going without, to me, WOULD be a waste of time!

© 2009 Leonie Stevens, Australia

A little bit of wisdom?

How can we justify claiming that we're fighting for acceptance,
and yet show lack of empathy towards others.

Disillusionment will not only erode self confidence of another person,
but can destroy any creativeness.

© 2006 Rose Davida, UK

Lies will only hurt people.
When the lies stop, the healing begins.

If you look at the essence of life,
it's about being grateful for that unique life and living every day and every moment .

Life isn't about where we're at,
but more about our behaviour
how we deal with circumstances
and how we treat people (including ourselves).

© 2007, Autumn Parry, Australia

Take Hold of Every Moment!

My friend Judy sent this to me, via email, some time back. I think it's well worth sharing.

"A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This", - he said - "isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it." He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died! He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understand that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day.. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. Leaving things til "One of these days", I know I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not enough times at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this will be a special day. "

Judy had the right idea in reminding me of these things too. You see, each day, each hour, each minute, is special. And telling those we love that we do in fact love them, is something that should not be put off until "someday".

Then there's .........

How could I have missed Rutger Hauer? (Remember him from LadyHawke?)