Does it make you cross?

Picking up women's magazines is a "must" when you're sitting in a doctors consulting rooms, or the hairdressers, or wherever while you're waiting for your appointment time. Most of us in this group anyway no longer personally purchase women's magazines - they're far too expensive and even if there is an article or two that takes our interest, the rest is usually of no interest whatsoever. We don't suppose the publishers would like to hear that, but it's true.

So with six of the more "popular" magazines on our communal table this morning while we were enjoying our early morning "getting ready to start work" cuppa, we started flipping through the pages. Now we're all ages so you'd think we'd find something that relates to each and every one of us within the pages of these national and international magazines.

But that's not so.

It was the youngest one in our group Melissa, who actually voiced what we were all thinking. "Why don't they ever show real women of all ages, rather than very young and quite honestly anorexic teens?" This really impressed us, not that she'd said outright something we've been thinking for a long time, but that as a young woman she "saw" something inappropriate by the magazines' attitudes. In her 20s she went on to say how confused she becomes when trying to relate the real world with what is dished up week after week in the women's magazines.

This is something of a pet peeve as far as we're concerned. Surely women's magazines are written and published for all women? Surely that means women of all ages, all colours, all shapes and all sizes, all colours, and so on? Yet all we see are so-called "celebrities" (journalists don't even know the meaning of the word!) who are constantly undergoing change. Cosmetic surgery; excessive and extreme dieting; wearing the latest and most expensive fashion; changing partners/lovers as often as they change their hair shampoo; or else sensationalised stories that go out of their way to beat the realms of common sense. The value and worth and standards of women's magazines have sunk very low as far as we're concerned. And in so doing they've relegated women (who they're supposed to inspire or motivate) even lower in their own feelings of self worth.

There are absolutely stunningly beautiful women out there - even in your town or city - of a certain age (40,50,60 and older), who wear and use fashion to express themselves and their personalities in such a way as to inspire women of all ages to copy or to adapt to suit themselves. There are just as many women of size who are flamboyant and expressive and who take your breath away with their confidence and beauty. But these women never grace the pages of women's magazines. Why? Because as an editor - male - of the leading magazine here in Australia told us - "we don't want to offend our readers." What arrogance. What hypocrisy. What he, and others, don't realise is that he is perpetuating the thought that age and size is offensive! What century are these people living in?

When an editor of a woman's magazine is fired (happened here in Australia) because she had the audacity of putting a lovely young and internationally applauded size 16 woman on the cover of her magazine, well you know something is really wrong with society and it's attitudes.

The gaining of self-esteem!

“If one is truly to succeed in leading a person to a specific place, one must first and foremost take care to find her where she is and begin there”. ….© Soren Kierkgaard

Something we read this week

An interesting snippet of information was contained in a sentence or two in one of the major city newspapers here this week.

It's a simple theory. Ginger could help east the nausea often caused by chemotherapy.

Researchers found cancer patients who took ginger capsules a few days before treatment experienced a 40 per cent reduction in symptoms.

It would be interesting to find out a little more on this issue.

Can anyone tell me why?

Most of our group are intelligent, thinking women. We may be a little on the weird side occasionally, but on the whole ......

A couple of us have been around for a "while" and a couple of us have yet to taste the spoils of success (whatever one may define as success); each of us feels fulfilled and contented at this point in time. But we all smile - a lot, every day. At each other, at what we do, and at times we even laugh at ourselves.

We got to talking over morning coffee yesterday about the angry, hostile, arrogant, smouldering, pouty looks of today's young models. In the newspapers, the women's magazines. They stomp and stamp, they march (even frog-march), they treat the catwalk as their anger-management counsellor. If they could, they look as though they would throw themselves on the floor and give us two minute tantrums just like a 2 year old! And for what reason?

Does glowering at the audience make their garments more attractive? Does it make them more attractive? And if so, to whom?

What's wrong with a smile? Is there something inherently "bad" about showing the world, from the catwalk and the pages of magazines, that they love what they're doing, that they love what they're wearing, that they want YOU to love what they're wearing?

Because this anger and hostility and arrogance shows itself reflected in the faces of too many young (and older for that matter) women who walk down our streets, who shop in our malls, and who pass us as we walk by. It seems as though it is considered to be normal.

But in our dealings with women a number of them have actually said they won't even say hello or greet people who glare with such distaste - it's almost as though they are at war with the world, with other women and indeed themselves.

Any opinions?

The "uniform" of today

I was waiting for Carol to arrive at the local coffee shop. With large floor to ceiling windows looking out into the mall, I watched as people went about shopping, stopping to chat and so on. It suddenly occurred to me that women particularly have taken up a “uniform” in clothing.

Apart from jeans and tee shirts, the majority of women are wearing hip length shirts - sometimes as a jacket over the ubiquitous tee shirt, with black pants. The more I looked, the more I saw the same.

I can remember as a young Mum with a teenage daughter that she and her friends were saying they didn’t want to wear a school uniform. “It wasn’t cool to look the same as everyone else”. It wasn’t fair that the school “made” them do so - they wanted to wear the clothes they chose. They got their own way.

She’s grown up now and has teenagers of her own. But something strange has happened. No longer does she wear "choices". I notice that she is now wearing this “middle-aged” uniform of a black tee shirt and black pants. Not only around the house but when she goes out, even to the cinema or theatre, having a BBQ or visiting neighbours. Always the same sort of outfit. Her entire wardrobe is made up of black tee shirts and black pants. I mentioned this “uniform look” to her the other day and she said, “Surely Mum, you can understand they’re more comfortable”. More comfortable than what? And just what does being comfortable have to do with wearing clothes that you like, maybe even better than tee shirts and black pants.

If women were only given the choice of wearing black or white tee shirts and black pants, they'd be screaming "we want choice".

Look, I’m not saying for one minute that black tee shirt and black pants aren't comfortable and practical, but let’s get a bigger perspective on “fashion”. For what appears to have happened is that the choices gained made all those years ago have now been put to one side and a new "uniform" has taken over. You can see it in women of all ages - young (even tweens), adult and elderly women.

Can’t we see the adventure in playing with colour and texture and design and style and fabric? Have a look around at the women in your shopping mall or coffee shop next time you go and see if you don’t agree with me.

Now we've got another gene to blame!

Did you see the article in a recent newspaper that says if we have the ability to keep "cool, calm and collected" when others around us are having tantrums, temper blasts and "losing their heads", then we can thank our parents?

It seems studies in Germany at the University of Bonn asked more than 800 people on how they handled anger. Their DNA's were tested to determine which of three versions of a gene affecting depression levels they carried.

Those with one version were significantly "cooler" than those with the others. Angry types also had less grey matter in the brain's emotional centre. (Behavioural Brain Research)

While talking about "grey" matter - oh, how Agatha Christie loved this subject - it seems from studies here in Australia that teenagers who are binge drinking are opening themselves to all sorts of brain malfunctions, now and in the future, in that their levels of "white" matter are decreasing rapidly.

This brought about a question amongst our group this morning - just how many different coloured "matters" do we actually have in our brain?

Would that account for some people having black and white dreams while others always have technicolour?

Hmmmmm.

Leonie Stevens .... You'll never guess!

I was invited to attend a small business meeting of a group of business women the other week. Living and working as a corporate woman my daily "uniform" for want of a better word has been, for a number of years (in fact more years than I care to admit), a smart business jacket and slacks (more commonly known as "pants" these days). For many business women it appears to be the "expected" standard style of dress.

But I woke up this morning, wanting to do something different. Sometimes I feel a little mischievous! So I wore a lovely slightly flared ankle length skirt with a smart edge to edge jacket over a cami. For comfort I wore my favourite boots.

Let me tell you I felt great. The reflection in the mirror also confirmed that feeling. Compliments were expressed, even by my colleague in the government, and it takes a lot for her to find something good to commend.

That got me thinking. As a matter of course, we tend to sometimes allow ourselves to become, well - not really boring, but lacking in a bit of imagination.

Do you know because I looked good in the mirror (even side and back view!!), I "felt" good. And that feeling has lasted all day.

I intend to do this sort of thing more often. To step out of the "comfort zone" as far as corporate wear is concerned, and wear slightly more feminine clothing, especially when the occasion allows.

© 2009 Leonie Stevens, Australia

Leonie Stevens ..... on Daydreaming .....

I'm at long last finding time to spend to myself and I'm being surprised every day with the knowledge there are times when I like solitude.

Let me hasten to say though, that in no way do I enjoy being "lonely" and sometimes it happens - but I mean choosing to be "alone" is quite nice when you want it to be.

For those of you who know me a little through my columns in various women's newsletters, you'll already know my career curve has taken another one - curve I mean! I'm loving the freedom that this choice is giving me in doing the things that I want to do, when I want to do them, and with whom I want to do them. And I'm saying nothing further in that regard - well, not at the moment anyway.

This morning has been one of those bleak cold and grey mornings, and while sitting down with a good book and a cup of coffee - with cream! - I found I was suddenly transported away on imaginings and my thoughts were falling all over each other in their scramble to form a sensible pattern. I realise I was daydreaming, and when I thought more seriously about it, I realised I hadn't had time to daydream for years, being heavily committed to business activities and travelling and then having to run the home as well before my CDC - "career direction change".

I remembered as a child - especially in the classroom, when I would dabble in daydreaming - of course neither the teacher nor my parents found it a bit amusing, and told me I was wasting valuable time and expense in doing so.

But you know, I found in my early and mid-adulthood, that being able to daydream occasionally rounded off some of the harsh edges that life created for me. And I guess it's the same for many people. Being able to put day-dreams into action plays a big part in our abilities to take of new challenges, to set new goals and to undertake new adventures.

I don't know about you, but I find daydreams very valuable stuff - without them I think life would be sadly lacking in some of the romance and fantasy areas that we all need at some time during our lives.

That's not to say we should spend the whole day daydreaming, but occasionally it can do us good. As a matter of fact just like chocolates - I've read so many times over the past decade or so just how VERY good chocolates can be for us, if eaten sensibly and moderately.

That's great because I've decided to take advantage of daydreaming when I want to, and enjoying chocolates when I want to. Perhaps I can combine the two together

Because I reckon I'll be all the happier - knowing that there's no suggestion of "having to go without" because neither are good for me. Because going without, to me, WOULD be a waste of time!

© 2009 Leonie Stevens, Australia

A little bit of wisdom?

How can we justify claiming that we're fighting for acceptance,
and yet show lack of empathy towards others.

Disillusionment will not only erode self confidence of another person,
but can destroy any creativeness.

© 2006 Rose Davida, UK

Lies will only hurt people.
When the lies stop, the healing begins.

If you look at the essence of life,
it's about being grateful for that unique life and living every day and every moment .

Life isn't about where we're at,
but more about our behaviour
how we deal with circumstances
and how we treat people (including ourselves).

© 2007, Autumn Parry, Australia

Take Hold of Every Moment!

My friend Judy sent this to me, via email, some time back. I think it's well worth sharing.

"A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This", - he said - "isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it." He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died! He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understand that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day.. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. Leaving things til "One of these days", I know I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not enough times at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this will be a special day. "

Judy had the right idea in reminding me of these things too. You see, each day, each hour, each minute, is special. And telling those we love that we do in fact love them, is something that should not be put off until "someday".

Then there's .........

How could I have missed Rutger Hauer? (Remember him from LadyHawke?)

What is it that makes a man attractive?

Whew! It looks like I've started something here. The way things are going I'll land up with a whole gallery of "attractive" men. But then, what's so wrong with that, I ask?

So here we are, a couple more of our favourite television actors. William Petersen and David Caruso. And it's not often we see "Horatio" without those dark glasses! Anyone got a better photo of David - say a close-up?

Do we put aside time for ourselves?

In amongst all our "busy-ness" - whether we're a student, a wife or partner, a mother, responsible for aging relatives or a business woman, do we ever put aside (intentionally) a little bit of time for ourselves?

I've got to admit here and now that I've been guilty of not addressing my own personal "time-out" needs on too many occasions. There's always been reasons, and all those reasons are justifiable. As I grow older though, I have come to the realisation (yes, I'm a "late bloomer"!) that I should have taken time-out for myself many times. A person can burn out, I know. I've read a lot about it, and I've even spoken about it to groups of women and within short courses. But we don't always do what we should do, do we? Or practice what we preach.

This morning it's a "public holiday" here in this state. I've got heaps of work to get done not to mention the laundry, changing the bedlinen, tidying up the kitchen, taking all the weekend newspapers out of the lounge room, making phone calls, getting my computer work done, including my blog, and there are a hundred or more small jobs that I have to do!

But I'm taking "time-out" - I've got myself a small platter of fruit cut up nicely which is sitting in the frig ready for me to call upon it when I feel hungry, and a carafe of chilled water and a glass on the coffee table at my side. And I have chosen three books that I've been wanting to read for simply ages. If I feel like continuing with just the one book then I'll do so.

This is "MY time". If anyone rings, the answering machine is switched on. If anyone comes to the door, then sorry, they can leave a message. They'd have to do this if I were out, so I'm not being selfish.

And that brings to mind something many of us have difficulty with. If we take time to meet our own needs, too many of us feel guilty. There's always someone who wants something; there's always something to be done.

Don't allow your thoughts to concentrate on those factors. Give yourself a break. Take an hour or so and relax. Let your thoughts and your mind and your body have a rest. This will benefit you and in turn benefit others in the long run. Do something you like, even painting your toenails.

My choice, today, is reading.

Talk to you later!

Today is Easter Sunday

To all my Christian friends, I wish them all a very Happy Easter Day.

To all my friends from other faiths (and no faiths), I wish them all a safe, and fulfilling Easter Day.

Perfume Squirting!

If you suffer from asthma or other respiratory problems, or have a "cold" and your nose is all snuffly and stuff, what do you do when you walk through the perfume department of your favourite store and wham, you get a squirt of perfume in your face?

Most people complain. Not to the store management, but among themselves. A lot of people become ill from this squirting. I've known of one woman who actually collapsed right there and then.

But these people within the perfume departments are doing what they're trained to do - to convince you to buy a product. They're sales people!

But look at it from another angle. They're being discriminatory. They're not giving a person the right to say "yes" or "no" to being squirted.

Everyone who is confronted with this sort of thing has the option of saying nothing and accepting the behaviour (and the squirt), or complaining (not only to their friends or to themselves, but to management).

In Australia now, perfume squirting is no longer allowed - whether it be in a perfume store or a shopping mall. (Some stores don't follow this rule though - there's always exceptions and those who think they know better!)

The reason is that so many thousands have respiratory troubles and asthma that being caught with a squirt of perfume can disable them on the spot. Researchers have been looking at the reasons why these numbers have increased over recent years, and yes, perfume squirting sits among the culprits.

Having experienced this behaviour and taking it up with the CEO of as large shopping mall in Melbourne, they quickly instigated immediate policy changes. Now, if you want a squirt you can ask for one! (That's a squirt of perfume not a squirt, as in a person!!

Sometimes it pays to "stand up for yourself".

I saw this advertisement in a women's magazine

Inside I'm a free spirited gypsy
- an explorer who discovers new things everyday

a chocolate MONSTER

a QUEEN and a drama queen

inside I'm steel and marshmallow

a GODDESS, a Belly Dancer,
a BALLERINA and a sexy tango.

wanna dance?

Sorry, but I can't recall the name of the advertiser. Can anyone help?

Gosh, I've done it now!

I've been reprimanded by two of my girl friends for leaving out two of their
favourite "attractive" men. So without any delay I'll include them right now.

Steven Seagal and David Suchet. OK, girls?

What makes a man attractive?

I couldn't help but include another actor following my earlier post. Robson Green. Have you any favourites?

There's a lot of pain!

Discrimination takes many forms. Verbal, visual, physical, emotional, psychological, and sexual. There are most probably more.

But in recent times, as a consequence of modern technology, another form of discrimination and a most insidious one at that is "cyber bullying". And it's not just a new word in our vocabulary; it's a word that brings with it fear and terror. School children, teenagers and adults are being pursued by known and unknown persons; it's a frightening situation. For syber bullying quite often leads to physical bullying as well.

Stories of a number of young people who have suicided over the past 12 months as a result of cyber bullying are becoming more frequent; parents are left to wonder what they could have done to prevent the situation occurring. They're in a Catch 22 situation. They tell themselves and others that they "should have sat with their son/daughter at the computer to make sure what sites they were visiting and who they were talking to". But at a parent it becomes obvious that this problem is much much bigger than at first imagined.

For how can a parent sit with a teenager for as many hours as he/she sits at their computer, monitoring what they're are doing in cuber space. Lives have to be lived; parents have to be parents to their other children; they have to manage a home; if they have jobs they have to go to work. Their children may appear to allow their parents to monitor or block certain aspects of their technology, but kids don't always tell their parents the truth about what they're doing and who they're speaking to - especially on the internet. And especially at night when their parents are sleep!

As one couple said, "our son had three lives. One with us, and his siblings and our entire family, and neighbours. The second with his friends. We know all his friends and were comfortable with him spending time with them. We knew he was safe with us and he was safe with his friends. But it was the third life that literally took him from us. And one that we knew nothing about. Cyber-space and some people who knew him and who bullied him until he took his own life. We failed him. We failed him, terribly."

This is a most dreadful situation for any parent to find themselves in. They most likely couldn't have done any more to keep him safe. They are taking upon themselves the full blame for what has happened. But someone has to share the blame.

The perpetrators of the bullying showed no remorse whatsoever, in fact the young man involved in the majority of the bullying took the attitude of "well, everybody does it." And he smiled. In no way would he accept the fact that what he had done was wrong.

For governments to say they are bringing in policies and "blocks" to protect people using the internet, is a bit late in the day. These protections should have been in place at least ten years ago. Furthermore the latest "block" and filters can be broken through - that's for certain. A young 17 year old recently broke through the filters of the entire federal governments computer system. So much for today's filters.

Meanwhile we have a problem on our hands. And someone, somewhere, has to take some responsibility and get the best possible advice and technology into gear, to protect us from the "invisible threat" that is very real.

(This was submitted to me by Ben Warwickshire.)

What is it that makes a man attractive?

It's not only the women of today - films, theatre and the like - who have to be seen as "beautiful" (what is beauty anyway?), but it's the men too! Honestly, they're all so "cutesy" and pretty. What's happened to rustic, craggy, raspy voiced, unhandsomeness men(boy that's a new word for you, I bet.) Not always young, sometimes grey haired with wrinkles no less. A broken nose perhaps. Even a cross-eye in there somewhere.

Look at some of the movie stars particularly of years gone by. You couldn't mix them up with their peers, because they had distinctive looks and everyone recognised them. Today for some people it's a matter of getting a magnifying glass out to see who everyone is talking about - Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and of course the prettiest of them all Tom Cruise. Isn't this guy interested in aging and doing so gracefully?

Take for instance. Charles Bronson. Then what about Chips Rafferty, Michael Pate (both Australian actors from the 40s and 50s)?

What about - Edward G Robinson, Humphrey Bogart, Paul Henreid? Claude Rains, Telly Savalas?













But wait a minute. I'm getting ahead of myself here. We do have "attractive" actors today. We don't necessarily call them "heart-throbs", but they certainly do have "it". (Whatever "it" is - then they've certainly got lots!). Who am I talking about?

For instance. Ken Stott. (The actor who plays Rebus for those who don't know this character or show. Even Ian Rankin has suggested that Rebus has come to life with the help of Stott, Ken Stott can melt your heart with a softening of his deep brown eyes and little boy smile, or just as quickly make you dislike him intensely by his change in moods. But this is the part of Rebus, so what is Ken Stott like - in reality? Who knows? But then, who really knows what all these actors as like - for that matter, who really knows us?

The right shoes for looking slim!

Round-toed shoes can make legs look stumpy by breaking the "line" of your leg.

Wear shoes with pointed toes - heels or flats, it doesn't matter - to create the impression of a longer line (and thus, a longer, slimmer leg).

That's what the women's magazine said! I probably agree to some extent.

But looking at today's shoes, I'm not sure whether our girls will have healthy feet, (look at the tiny point of impact in the centre of the person's heel - all their weight - wonder if they'll get spurs later on in life?) or healthy spines (have you seen how they stand and lean forward when walking?). I guess they're willing to take the risks just to have "fashionable footwear" and must-haves. Take a look at a couple.

OK, yes, we wore stilettos in the "old days", but not quite so high. Oh no. And women even wear this type of shoe driving a car! The mind boggles. Don't they ever think that the heel is going to stick between the accelerator and the floor mat?

Smile!

Todays quote:

"Smile! It improves your face value!"

Want to get in Shape?

Find yourself a new lover says an Italian research team.

The "heady" feeling (all to due to chemicals in our brain and our body) of romance has been found to have the same effects as chocolate and other sugary treats on the body!

I guess it all depends on what you really need. As you satisfied with the lover you have? Then all you need to do is to enjoy chocolate.

If you're not satisfied with your lover, then finding a new one (and keeping him!) might do the trick.

Don't get "needs" mixed up with "wants" though!

You can say what you like!

I'm on a mission. Well to be totally frank with you I'm always on a mission. Whether I achieve what I set out to do is irrelevant, because it's the fight and the chase that I enjoy. Especially when I believe I'm in the "right".

Well, this is a tiny little mission this time. It's to get people to recognise the important place that "snail mail" should hold in our lives. You know, ordinary letters and cards that go by postage and travel by train, bus, freight-truck, plane, ship, and even in some places bicycle!

With the advent of electronic technology and I'm not questioning the value or otherwise, because I use some of it everyday, so I'd be a hypocrite if I did complain about it, but .......

People have forgotten (or is it intentional?) to telephone. Now, this doesn't sound so serious does it, but you ask around and you'll be surprised at the number of people who no longer have anyone ring them, to talk to them, to listen to them. Everyone's too busy (and I suspect they're too busy because they're spending too much time on the computer or one or more of the other contraptions now in use).

People have forgotten (or is it intentional?) to write. Oh yes, everyone writes emails these days. Whether it's a 20 page tirade or a two word (usually abbreviated anyway) communication. So impersonal. So direct and instant, yes. But so cold and calculating in many instances. Of course I don't include the fun things, or the urgent messages, or the little newsletters (which of course I write mountains of). We'd be lost without emails - well many of us anyway.

But what I mean are:

(a) the little hand-written "thank you" notes - thanking people not only for a gift, or a special item, but thanking them for their friendship or their love, or being there when needed.

(b) the little hand-written invitations to a baby's christening, or engagement party

(c) the little hand-written messages of comfort when someone is in urgent need

(d) the little hand-written note that says, "please be happy and well"

(e) the little hand-written birthday card (or other celebration) - it's too easy to send an emal with a couple of lines.

I could go on and on. But you know what I mean.

'Cos there's nothing quite like going to the postbox and lifting out a little envelope with hand-writing that you recognise, and opening it, and reading words that have been written from the heart, and by hand. Someone who has taken the time to pick up the pen and card, or paper, and sit down and write the words personally.

You see in this modern world, everything is a race against time. And that's foolish, because time just cannot be stretched no matter how much a magician you may be. But it's what we do with our time that's important.

And I believe that a simple little thing like hand-writing notes, and cards, and sending them through the post, bring so much joy to people. Small children, teenagers, adults, older people. Everyone benefits.

People - believe it or not - still collect cards and hand-written notes. Show me how many people print out a message on the computer and "collect" it in a scrapbook or favourite little box? Or am I so old-fashioned that I'm starting to show my age, by what I believe in?

There, that's my "say" for this morning!

Isn't it about time?

There's a lot of discussion going on about being overweight or fat, or "obese" which is a most horrid word, and should never be used when describing people!

But it seems to me if we want things to change for the better, and that means for size acceptance to take place, then each of us has to stand up for what we believe in - ourselves, and do something about it.

Why do I say this? Because nothing much has changed over recent years to have made a great difference to how we are “seen” by society as a whole.

Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that there have been some small changes, but when it comes to those changes benefiting the plus-size person, then you’ve got to look pretty hard at the whole picture to see what has occurred. Someone said to me the other day, well Rome wasn’t built in a day. That’s obvious. But getting society to change it’s attitude on size is taking far too long, because with every forward step we make, society (and I include the media, fashion industry and the medical profession, and now the government) punches us fair and square in the face and tells us, “no, you’re never going to be accepted, so stop bothering us”.

The latest news is condescending and concentrates on WLS; the the promise (or is it really a threat?) that the government is being lobbied (by who I don’t quite know) to subsidise WLS for “obese” patients. The inference is - obese people have to have it whether they want it or not!

But WLS has to be done for the right reason, and this includes being of benefit for the person involved. This is a matter for any plus size person to discuss with their own personal doctor.

It requires a lot of research, it requires a lot of discussion and it requires a lot of questions and answers, for a patient to get to the stage of agreeing to it.

What you don't hear, or see, are the negative stories about people whose lives have been ruined, both physically as well as emotionally, by unsuccessful WLS or stomach banding. Of course there are success stories, and I applaud those who have successfully gone through these procedures and are living healthy and happy lives. But it’s when I see for myself the scars of patients even years after the surgery and hear how people can’t even nibble a biscuit without feeling bloated and nausea, that alarm bells start ringing. Too many so-called "successful" WLS results are soon negated for the simple reason that the person undergoes a reversal! (If they're healthy enough, that is!) For let’s be honest here, not every patient is suitable for this type of surgery in the first place. There may be other health issues at risk.

Celebrities such as Les Twentyman,a youth worker well known for his charity work here in Victoria (Australia) and the 2006 Victorian of the Year, is today battling for his life in an induced coma after suffering a poisonous infection. He was undergoing lap band surgery at the Alfred hospital on Wednesday when surgeons noticed he had an unrelated double hernia, which had burst. While recovering from the surgery Les’ condition deteriorated dramatically and he underwent corrective surgery for the hernia, but had to be placed in the coma to stabilise his condition. He was in a critical but stable condition in the Alfred's intensive care unit last night. Every-one is hoping that Les overcomes this setback and recovers fully. This is not to say that he is in this condition because of the WLS, but it goes to show that things can go wrong, and often awfully wrong.

But for a Government to actually think about subtly insisting that obese people should undergo such surgery because they’re an unaffordable “drain” on the economy (they’re not so silly as to say it outright) and that these surgeries may be subsidised in the future, smacks of hypocrisy.

In a world where plus-size people are ostracised, ridiculed, ignored and shunted around like no-bodies, this is just too much. We need healthier options, we need positive options, we need a lot more research into the fields of why we are getting fatter (and don’t even suggest it’s because we’re eating too much or the wrong food, because I and thousands of others will scream!) We’ve been told this for too long now, and it’s not true. Otherwise why, just tell me why, we have small babies who are overweight? Are they eating Big Macs? Are they eating Domino pizzas every meal? Are they drinking fizzy drinks and eating sweets, non-stop? And why are children becoming more allergic to foods these days - why have the numbers increased not only in peanut intolerance, but intolerance for almost every thing imaginable. Surely the so-called experts are looking in the wrong direction. Why doesn’t someone, somewhere look into what is IN the food, not just at the food itself?

It’s not often I get up on my soapbox and stamp my feet. It’s not us, the people who are told we are overweight who are out of control, it’s society and governments and the unacceptable attitudes by people and organisations that could be doing more to help the situation than to make it worse.

And making it worse only puts us behind the eight-ball. We’re sick and tired of being told we’re fat and therefore we get what we deserve. We don’t deserve all this nonsense. We deserve to be respected as much as the next person.

I don’t know about you, but if we are serious about getting our views and beliefs heard and published, then as I said at the beginning of this tirade, we have to do something ourselves