Leonie Stevens .... You'll never guess!

I was invited to attend a small business meeting of a group of business women the other week. Living and working as a corporate woman my daily "uniform" for want of a better word has been, for a number of years (in fact more years than I care to admit), a smart business jacket and slacks (more commonly known as "pants" these days). For many business women it appears to be the "expected" standard style of dress.

But I woke up this morning, wanting to do something different. Sometimes I feel a little mischievous! So I wore a lovely slightly flared ankle length skirt with a smart edge to edge jacket over a cami. For comfort I wore my favourite boots.

Let me tell you I felt great. The reflection in the mirror also confirmed that feeling. Compliments were expressed, even by my colleague in the government, and it takes a lot for her to find something good to commend.

That got me thinking. As a matter of course, we tend to sometimes allow ourselves to become, well - not really boring, but lacking in a bit of imagination.

Do you know because I looked good in the mirror (even side and back view!!), I "felt" good. And that feeling has lasted all day.

I intend to do this sort of thing more often. To step out of the "comfort zone" as far as corporate wear is concerned, and wear slightly more feminine clothing, especially when the occasion allows.

© 2009 Leonie Stevens, Australia

Leonie Stevens ..... on Daydreaming .....

I'm at long last finding time to spend to myself and I'm being surprised every day with the knowledge there are times when I like solitude.

Let me hasten to say though, that in no way do I enjoy being "lonely" and sometimes it happens - but I mean choosing to be "alone" is quite nice when you want it to be.

For those of you who know me a little through my columns in various women's newsletters, you'll already know my career curve has taken another one - curve I mean! I'm loving the freedom that this choice is giving me in doing the things that I want to do, when I want to do them, and with whom I want to do them. And I'm saying nothing further in that regard - well, not at the moment anyway.

This morning has been one of those bleak cold and grey mornings, and while sitting down with a good book and a cup of coffee - with cream! - I found I was suddenly transported away on imaginings and my thoughts were falling all over each other in their scramble to form a sensible pattern. I realise I was daydreaming, and when I thought more seriously about it, I realised I hadn't had time to daydream for years, being heavily committed to business activities and travelling and then having to run the home as well before my CDC - "career direction change".

I remembered as a child - especially in the classroom, when I would dabble in daydreaming - of course neither the teacher nor my parents found it a bit amusing, and told me I was wasting valuable time and expense in doing so.

But you know, I found in my early and mid-adulthood, that being able to daydream occasionally rounded off some of the harsh edges that life created for me. And I guess it's the same for many people. Being able to put day-dreams into action plays a big part in our abilities to take of new challenges, to set new goals and to undertake new adventures.

I don't know about you, but I find daydreams very valuable stuff - without them I think life would be sadly lacking in some of the romance and fantasy areas that we all need at some time during our lives.

That's not to say we should spend the whole day daydreaming, but occasionally it can do us good. As a matter of fact just like chocolates - I've read so many times over the past decade or so just how VERY good chocolates can be for us, if eaten sensibly and moderately.

That's great because I've decided to take advantage of daydreaming when I want to, and enjoying chocolates when I want to. Perhaps I can combine the two together

Because I reckon I'll be all the happier - knowing that there's no suggestion of "having to go without" because neither are good for me. Because going without, to me, WOULD be a waste of time!

© 2009 Leonie Stevens, Australia

A little bit of wisdom?

How can we justify claiming that we're fighting for acceptance,
and yet show lack of empathy towards others.

Disillusionment will not only erode self confidence of another person,
but can destroy any creativeness.

© 2006 Rose Davida, UK

Lies will only hurt people.
When the lies stop, the healing begins.

If you look at the essence of life,
it's about being grateful for that unique life and living every day and every moment .

Life isn't about where we're at,
but more about our behaviour
how we deal with circumstances
and how we treat people (including ourselves).

© 2007, Autumn Parry, Australia

Take Hold of Every Moment!

My friend Judy sent this to me, via email, some time back. I think it's well worth sharing.

"A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This", - he said - "isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it." He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died! He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understand that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day.. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. Leaving things til "One of these days", I know I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not enough times at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this will be a special day. "

Judy had the right idea in reminding me of these things too. You see, each day, each hour, each minute, is special. And telling those we love that we do in fact love them, is something that should not be put off until "someday".

Then there's .........

How could I have missed Rutger Hauer? (Remember him from LadyHawke?)

What is it that makes a man attractive?

Whew! It looks like I've started something here. The way things are going I'll land up with a whole gallery of "attractive" men. But then, what's so wrong with that, I ask?

So here we are, a couple more of our favourite television actors. William Petersen and David Caruso. And it's not often we see "Horatio" without those dark glasses! Anyone got a better photo of David - say a close-up?

Do we put aside time for ourselves?

In amongst all our "busy-ness" - whether we're a student, a wife or partner, a mother, responsible for aging relatives or a business woman, do we ever put aside (intentionally) a little bit of time for ourselves?

I've got to admit here and now that I've been guilty of not addressing my own personal "time-out" needs on too many occasions. There's always been reasons, and all those reasons are justifiable. As I grow older though, I have come to the realisation (yes, I'm a "late bloomer"!) that I should have taken time-out for myself many times. A person can burn out, I know. I've read a lot about it, and I've even spoken about it to groups of women and within short courses. But we don't always do what we should do, do we? Or practice what we preach.

This morning it's a "public holiday" here in this state. I've got heaps of work to get done not to mention the laundry, changing the bedlinen, tidying up the kitchen, taking all the weekend newspapers out of the lounge room, making phone calls, getting my computer work done, including my blog, and there are a hundred or more small jobs that I have to do!

But I'm taking "time-out" - I've got myself a small platter of fruit cut up nicely which is sitting in the frig ready for me to call upon it when I feel hungry, and a carafe of chilled water and a glass on the coffee table at my side. And I have chosen three books that I've been wanting to read for simply ages. If I feel like continuing with just the one book then I'll do so.

This is "MY time". If anyone rings, the answering machine is switched on. If anyone comes to the door, then sorry, they can leave a message. They'd have to do this if I were out, so I'm not being selfish.

And that brings to mind something many of us have difficulty with. If we take time to meet our own needs, too many of us feel guilty. There's always someone who wants something; there's always something to be done.

Don't allow your thoughts to concentrate on those factors. Give yourself a break. Take an hour or so and relax. Let your thoughts and your mind and your body have a rest. This will benefit you and in turn benefit others in the long run. Do something you like, even painting your toenails.

My choice, today, is reading.

Talk to you later!

Today is Easter Sunday

To all my Christian friends, I wish them all a very Happy Easter Day.

To all my friends from other faiths (and no faiths), I wish them all a safe, and fulfilling Easter Day.

Perfume Squirting!

If you suffer from asthma or other respiratory problems, or have a "cold" and your nose is all snuffly and stuff, what do you do when you walk through the perfume department of your favourite store and wham, you get a squirt of perfume in your face?

Most people complain. Not to the store management, but among themselves. A lot of people become ill from this squirting. I've known of one woman who actually collapsed right there and then.

But these people within the perfume departments are doing what they're trained to do - to convince you to buy a product. They're sales people!

But look at it from another angle. They're being discriminatory. They're not giving a person the right to say "yes" or "no" to being squirted.

Everyone who is confronted with this sort of thing has the option of saying nothing and accepting the behaviour (and the squirt), or complaining (not only to their friends or to themselves, but to management).

In Australia now, perfume squirting is no longer allowed - whether it be in a perfume store or a shopping mall. (Some stores don't follow this rule though - there's always exceptions and those who think they know better!)

The reason is that so many thousands have respiratory troubles and asthma that being caught with a squirt of perfume can disable them on the spot. Researchers have been looking at the reasons why these numbers have increased over recent years, and yes, perfume squirting sits among the culprits.

Having experienced this behaviour and taking it up with the CEO of as large shopping mall in Melbourne, they quickly instigated immediate policy changes. Now, if you want a squirt you can ask for one! (That's a squirt of perfume not a squirt, as in a person!!

Sometimes it pays to "stand up for yourself".

I saw this advertisement in a women's magazine

Inside I'm a free spirited gypsy
- an explorer who discovers new things everyday

a chocolate MONSTER

a QUEEN and a drama queen

inside I'm steel and marshmallow

a GODDESS, a Belly Dancer,
a BALLERINA and a sexy tango.

wanna dance?

Sorry, but I can't recall the name of the advertiser. Can anyone help?

Gosh, I've done it now!

I've been reprimanded by two of my girl friends for leaving out two of their
favourite "attractive" men. So without any delay I'll include them right now.

Steven Seagal and David Suchet. OK, girls?

What makes a man attractive?

I couldn't help but include another actor following my earlier post. Robson Green. Have you any favourites?

There's a lot of pain!

Discrimination takes many forms. Verbal, visual, physical, emotional, psychological, and sexual. There are most probably more.

But in recent times, as a consequence of modern technology, another form of discrimination and a most insidious one at that is "cyber bullying". And it's not just a new word in our vocabulary; it's a word that brings with it fear and terror. School children, teenagers and adults are being pursued by known and unknown persons; it's a frightening situation. For syber bullying quite often leads to physical bullying as well.

Stories of a number of young people who have suicided over the past 12 months as a result of cyber bullying are becoming more frequent; parents are left to wonder what they could have done to prevent the situation occurring. They're in a Catch 22 situation. They tell themselves and others that they "should have sat with their son/daughter at the computer to make sure what sites they were visiting and who they were talking to". But at a parent it becomes obvious that this problem is much much bigger than at first imagined.

For how can a parent sit with a teenager for as many hours as he/she sits at their computer, monitoring what they're are doing in cuber space. Lives have to be lived; parents have to be parents to their other children; they have to manage a home; if they have jobs they have to go to work. Their children may appear to allow their parents to monitor or block certain aspects of their technology, but kids don't always tell their parents the truth about what they're doing and who they're speaking to - especially on the internet. And especially at night when their parents are sleep!

As one couple said, "our son had three lives. One with us, and his siblings and our entire family, and neighbours. The second with his friends. We know all his friends and were comfortable with him spending time with them. We knew he was safe with us and he was safe with his friends. But it was the third life that literally took him from us. And one that we knew nothing about. Cyber-space and some people who knew him and who bullied him until he took his own life. We failed him. We failed him, terribly."

This is a most dreadful situation for any parent to find themselves in. They most likely couldn't have done any more to keep him safe. They are taking upon themselves the full blame for what has happened. But someone has to share the blame.

The perpetrators of the bullying showed no remorse whatsoever, in fact the young man involved in the majority of the bullying took the attitude of "well, everybody does it." And he smiled. In no way would he accept the fact that what he had done was wrong.

For governments to say they are bringing in policies and "blocks" to protect people using the internet, is a bit late in the day. These protections should have been in place at least ten years ago. Furthermore the latest "block" and filters can be broken through - that's for certain. A young 17 year old recently broke through the filters of the entire federal governments computer system. So much for today's filters.

Meanwhile we have a problem on our hands. And someone, somewhere, has to take some responsibility and get the best possible advice and technology into gear, to protect us from the "invisible threat" that is very real.

(This was submitted to me by Ben Warwickshire.)

What is it that makes a man attractive?

It's not only the women of today - films, theatre and the like - who have to be seen as "beautiful" (what is beauty anyway?), but it's the men too! Honestly, they're all so "cutesy" and pretty. What's happened to rustic, craggy, raspy voiced, unhandsomeness men(boy that's a new word for you, I bet.) Not always young, sometimes grey haired with wrinkles no less. A broken nose perhaps. Even a cross-eye in there somewhere.

Look at some of the movie stars particularly of years gone by. You couldn't mix them up with their peers, because they had distinctive looks and everyone recognised them. Today for some people it's a matter of getting a magnifying glass out to see who everyone is talking about - Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and of course the prettiest of them all Tom Cruise. Isn't this guy interested in aging and doing so gracefully?

Take for instance. Charles Bronson. Then what about Chips Rafferty, Michael Pate (both Australian actors from the 40s and 50s)?

What about - Edward G Robinson, Humphrey Bogart, Paul Henreid? Claude Rains, Telly Savalas?













But wait a minute. I'm getting ahead of myself here. We do have "attractive" actors today. We don't necessarily call them "heart-throbs", but they certainly do have "it". (Whatever "it" is - then they've certainly got lots!). Who am I talking about?

For instance. Ken Stott. (The actor who plays Rebus for those who don't know this character or show. Even Ian Rankin has suggested that Rebus has come to life with the help of Stott, Ken Stott can melt your heart with a softening of his deep brown eyes and little boy smile, or just as quickly make you dislike him intensely by his change in moods. But this is the part of Rebus, so what is Ken Stott like - in reality? Who knows? But then, who really knows what all these actors as like - for that matter, who really knows us?