A spring in my step!

For months now we've been awaiting the arrival of Spring. And on one day - a Sunday, I seem to recall it was actually Father's Day here in Australia, the sun came out shining, and everyone thought Spring has arrived! But no, just when we thought it was with us, it shrank behind a cloud and has been tempting us ever since.

But nature doesn't quite accept the fact that the weather may not do as it's supposed to do, and the gardens are a picture waiting to be photographed. Everywhere the camellias, single, double even triple, pale pastel, bright flambouyant red, are still ruling the gardens. Spring bulbs, daffodils, jonquils, hyacinths, gerberas are blooming their little hearts out, while the exquisitely perfumed freesias are busy trying to overdo themselves. A lovely little climbing clematis has deigned to bloom at my front gate, greeting everyone with it's own particular personal smile.

Even though it's cold (in fact it's quite freezing of an early evening and early morning) the sight of nature doing her own thing, whether it be in the flora or the native bird life around here, does make one feel that there is a "spring in our steps". The heart is lightened, the mind is cleared from the greyness of the winter months, optimism abounds, and plans and goals are set without too much thought. It's all a matter of looking to the future. As Louis Armstrong sang, "What a wonderful world!".

Disappointments!

When you think about it, all of us have disappointments.
Not necessarily, as I heard one person say, regrets.
But certainly disappointments.

And it's interesting. Because the majority, if not all, disappointments come about by, and through, and because of other people. Think about it.

Too often we explain our disappointments away by taking on self-blame, or making excuses that we weren't trying hard enough, or it wasn't meant to be - meaning, in part, that it was our fault being in the wrong place at the wrong time., or even worse that we didn't deserve what we had hoped for. Self-doubts come so easily with disappointments.

Or as in our career path, someone else "got in first". The fact that they were perhaps the choice of the employer (or friend when it comes to our friendship circle) and that that choice had never been ours in the first place sometimes eludes us. Oh yes, we can wish for, and want something so badly it hurts. But that doesn't take away the fact that not everything is there for us to take, when we want it!

It's the same with relationships. It doesn't matter whether it's a marriage, a friendship or even between people within a family. We may never really know them. And it comes as a bit of a shock to think that they don't really know us!

We, and they, may think we're as close as being under each other's skin, but we're not! We're two (or more) totally independent human beings. And the differences are huge.

We can believe in each other. We can trust each other. We can rely and protect each other. But we may never know each other. Everyone has secrets. Some deeply hidden. Some as a matter of pretense. We all know of people who "stretch" the truth; they tell what they profess is a "fib" and before long it is a big lie and then they have to add ammunition to that lie, otherwise they'll get caught out. Quite often these "fibs" relate to the lives of these human beings. Is it that they need to be seen as "super-heroes"? Do we sometimes fall into the same bad habits of stretching the truth?

Sadly it's the same in relationships. You may have been with a person for 12 months or 20 years, and then suddenly you discover that one or two things they've told you as being truth are discounted by more than one other person who all provide a similar story to each other. You begin to question whether everything you've been originally told was true or not. You begin to question yourself. And you begin to ask yourself whether you've been "taken in" again; or whether it's all your fault that no one tells you the truth.

It's all a matter of perspectives. If you are safe and secure in your own self-feelings and you trust your own astuteness and your own ability to know what is right and what is best for you, then you're on the right side. If you realise that people WILL disappoint you (just as much as you will sometimes disappoint them and yourself) and get on with life as you see it should be lived - ethically, principled, and honest - then you've already established that maybe you'll get hurt and disappointed again and again by people and events out of your control, but you're your own person. No one can take that away from you. No one can (or should try to) make you feel less a person. You are you, and everything within you and about you is unique.

Turn that uniqueness into something beautiful, serene, and untouchable by disappointments that may come upon you at any time by believing in yourself.

When disappointments do come, and they will, allow yourself to go through the processes of accepting and dealing with them, and then stand tall, be yourself, and strive forward.

Being the person you were meant to be!

If you can value truth above approval
and friendship over power, wealth or fame -

If you can share your gifts and talents wisely,
leaving someone better off than when you came -

If you find happiness in simple pleasures
and see the rainbow, not the falling rain -

If you have faith to keep right on believing in miracles that no one can explain

If you live every day to your potential
and find the good in everything you see -

Then you'll be, not just happy and successful,
but the person only you were meant to be

....... Emily Matthews

LOVE without ATTACHMENT

A lot of my friends (and even casual acquaintances) tell me that even though they surround themselves with lots of "positive" messages about self-acceptance, and plenty of healthy self-talk, there are times when they feel "out of place" and not quite sure of themselves, especially when it concerns relationships.

This is a favourite piece I have repeated and reproduced over many years through my newsletters and small booklets. I hope you will find it encouraging in your personal life.

Love without attachment!

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love does not mean leaning,
and company does not mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts
and presents are not promises

And you begin to accept rejection
with your head up and your eyes clear

with the grace of an adult,
not the heartache of a child

And you learn to build your life on NOW
because tomorrow is too uncertain

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

Plant your own garden and decorate your soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

After a while you learn that you really have infinite worth.

...... Author unknown

(This piece also appears on our blog of http://plussizseissue.blogspot.com today)

Red!

"Red is not a fashion colour that comes and goes.
It is THE fashion colour. A joyous, classic colour".
.... George Goss

"Red is glamorous, captivating, striking, and cheeky.
It's the colour most likely to get you into mischief".
.... Alex Perry

Colours

Many young career women these days seem to think that if they wear the "conservative" suit or outfit (mainly black) that they look the part - that their professionalism is displayed through the colour they wear. Unfortunately many look dull and drab and won't budge from the colour black.

Many of us have fallen into a similar trap, and find that the majority of our clothes portray the person we want to be seen as, rather than the person we are.

I was talking to a group of hospital workers the other day - the kitchen, cafeteria and cleaning staff. Their uniform is black with a patch of white over each shoulder. Looks smart. But everyone can quite easily look the same.

So the girls who do the "housekeeping" - the cleaning - in the hospital wards decided to do something about making the uniform more "user-friendly". Just a simple touch of colour, but where to effectively place the colour without infringing the rules of the hospital about not adding anything to the uniform itself?

They bought a quantity of shoe laces (most of the staff wear black lace-up shoes for comfort as well as being part of the uniform), and a supply of white cotton ankle sox. They then purchased some bright, vivid, vibrant, outlandish colours and dyed the shoe laces and sox.

Now, each of them wear their coloured pieces in a different way - one wore a bright orchid pink sock and a deep purple sock, and tied her shoes with bright orange laces. Another wore a deep emerald green sock with a bright red sock and grey shoe laces.

Each had fun every day of the week by wearing the colour that matched their mood or feelings.

It just goes to show that even wearing a drab uninteresting uniform that colour can be added in the most amazing way.

We can do the same. While Spring is almost with us here in Australia, and we still have the dark evenings quite early, it's time to "break out" and blossom into the person we are, rather than hide behind what we think is a perfect uniform, but which can blend us so much into the background that we become invisible. And let's face it, no one wants to be invisible.